p h i l o e x n i a

I have this thing for written prayers, especially ancient prayers. Prayers that stir deep within my soul and bring forth a sense of being that is not brought about through much other. Prayers of hymns that ring voices of 'be thou my vision oh Lord of my heart'. When taken to heart these letters on the page are fierce in an aw inspiring way.

I've had a "busy" few weeks (which the word busy itself I find so interesting.. perhaps a later blog post) . Rarely stopping to acknowledge where I am for as long as I desire too. However, when I do grant myself the time to be, it's more alluring than normal.

Which brings me to prayer written in the New Union prayer book I've begun to confess as words of my own...

{Our noisy day has now descended with the sun beyond our sight.
In the silence of our praying place we close the door upon the hectic joys and fears, the accomplishments and anguish of the week we have left behind.
What was but moments ago the substance of our life has become memory; what we did must now be woven into what we are.

On this day we shall not do,

but be.

We are to walk the path of our humanity, no longer ride unseeing through a world we do not touch and only vaguely sense.
No longer can we tear the world apart to make our fire.
On this day heat and warmth and light must come from deep within ourselves.}

I've started diving into a book entitled "The Sacredness of Questioning Everything" by David Dark. Read this the other day and agree:

I've learned the art of walking these past few weeks. Which for most, would believe this occurs around the age of 1. However, I've found that walking can be just what I need when the rest is too much.

Last weekend I visited the Meanwhile with a few friends. As we were leaving, a gentleman in his 40's approached us. "Dear friends, kind people, I'm asking you to help a brother out. I have a favor to ask of you." He stated boldly to a group of 5 strangers. Immediately, one of the guys in the group responded with "Sorry man, don't carry cash."

When the word alter first comes to mind I immediately travel to the story of Abraham and Isaac. A picture of a father willing to kill his beloved son on an alter they built together. An alter assembled of hand cut wood. An alter used to bring a sacrifice before God. While this image is true, there is more to an alter than my original view.

After doing some reading and diving into discussion about what an alter really is, I've come to a beautiful conclusion::

Alters can be everywhere.

We don't need a burning bush or sacrificial lamb or a place of worship to create an alter. We need to open our eyes to the world right in front of us. The world right below our feet.
The house of God is not four walls. God is in the mountaintops, the crashing waves, the birds singing in the morning sunrise. A child's laugh. The holding of hands. How can we build a structure around such majesty? The church should be a place we come together as a group of believers as a way of reminding us that the whole world is God's house. The house of God stretches from one corner of the universe to the other. Along with people who pray in languages I do not speak, whose names I will never know.

So why do we not stop. Look. And make an alter where we encounter God in our day to day lives. Either a small stone or just taking one minute to acknowledge God's presence.

Breathe.

I can stop what I am doing long enough to see where I am, who I am there with, and how awesome of a place I am in.

Maybe an alter can become a symbol for praising the God who has come to me where I am.

I watched a documentary on objects yesterday and how much goes into the design that we don't even realize. Everything is constructed to make our lives simpler. [Yet it seems to me, the world is getting more and more complicated] One of the designers they interviewed said "I'm always trying to figure out how to take the newest object on the market and make it the 'old thing'." Why is it that we are always wanting something new?

Most of us spend so much time thinking about where we have been or where we are supposed to be going that we have a hard time recognizing where we actually are when someone asks us where we want to be in our lives, the last thing that occurs to us is to look down at our feet and say 'Here, I guess, since this is where I am'.

I’ve never been a blogger before. I’ve followed a few, however, never considered myself a writer even though I enjoy writing, its freeing, relaxing, thought provoking. At times when I feel I can’t speak, I write and the thoughts of my heart fill the page. Over break I began reading a book entitled “An Alter in the World” by Barbara Brown Taylor. In the chapter I finished reading this week she talks about the practice of saying no. The beginning line reads “God is not found in the soul by adding anything but by subtracting”. She goes into the chapter encouraging the act of sabbath and what that truly looks like. It came to my attention that I need that. So this is the start of something new.

I feel I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past year and reading this book opens the door to many thoughts surrounding my faith and who I want to be. By using this blog, I hope to expand on those thoughts and share what I’ve learned with those who care to read. One of the ways I’ve decided to observe sabbath, is I’m putting the world on hold and letting my heart and mind and God speak through writing my thoughts. What I know to be true is God is good and the more I search for him, the more I find my soul at rest and by adopting a sabbath I hope to be renewed and my searching encouraged. I don’t know where I’m being led, but I know and love the one leading me.